


*avengers have entered the chat*

by Shellhead_Winghead



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, idek why im writing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shellhead_Winghead/pseuds/Shellhead_Winghead
Summary: robobitch: i just saw tony stark fuxking  z o o m i n g  down the north science wingmerida: are we surprised? no. is there a fire? yesnatashiii: how do you know theres a fire???merida: the smoke is killing me in the vents





	1. not my dick pot favor

**Author's Note:**

> i saw someone use this type of chat layout and though i'd try it out. its pretty useful for people to remeber who is who.

*unnamed groupchat*

 _*redhotchilipepper has added, ironslut, takeyoudownapeg, natashiii,_ _fairlyoddwand,_ _and greenisnturcolor_ *

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Peggy Carter (takeyoudownapeg)

Natasha (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

saturday, 11:09 am

ironslut: peps, why am i the only guy in here?!

takeyoudownapeg: oh shush tones you are a girl

ironslut: i dont know whether to be offended or agree with you ://

redhotchilipepper: i brought this group chat together so we could plan Valkyrie's birthday party

natashiii: didnt she tell us to not do anything for her birthday??

fairlyoddwand: yeah, she also threatened to cut starks balls off if he tried to plan anything

greenisnturcolor: haha

ironslut: oH HELL NO

_*ironslut has left the_ _chat_ * 

natashiii: smh

_*natashiii added ironslut to the chat*_

redhotchilipepper: seriously tony

ironslut: i refuse to get beat up by valkyrie, shes scary

ironslut: oh look howard is calling me, gtg b4 my ass actually gets beat

ironslut: bueeeeeee

natashiii: bye st00pid

fairlyoddwand: bye

\-----------------------------

_*ironslut named the chat "church gurlz"*_

\-----------------------------

church gurlz

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Peggy Carter (takeyoudownapeg)

Natasha (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

sunday, 5:38 pm

natashiii: so i got some intel from the inside

natashiii: aka thor 

ironslut: jeez ur makin g this sound like its some sort of spy mission

fairlyoddwand: everything is a spy mission to nat

natashiii: :/

redhotchilipepper: what's the intel tash?

natashiii: at least someone appreciates my efforts 😒

natashii: anyways, thor said that valkyries parents are going to be out of town on her birthday (saturday) and get back monday night

greenisnturcolor: so...?

natashiii: hold on jeez

natashiii: thor told me that if we throw her a surprise party on sunday, he can distract her the entire day to let us set up, him, loki, and her were gonna go to the mall anyways to celebrate

ironslut: wait loki is friends with her? i thought they hated each other

redhotchilipepper: smh tony, i told you web stalking wouldnt give you all the info

fairlyoddwand: so we'll have the entire day to set up her party? thats great, who do we invite tho?

redhotchilipepper: leave it to me, we have five days to plan before we actually set up. everyone gather as much useful info as possible

redhotchilipepper: and tony you just buy everything

ironslut: i feel like im being used for my money ;((


	2. dumb bicth

best threesome ever

Tony Stark (ironslut)

James Rhodeys (boremachine)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

monday, 7:00 am

ironslut: rhoooodddeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy

ironslut: pepppppppppperrrrrrr

boremachine: sigh what happened this time

ironslut: i need some concealer..

redhotchilipepper: anything serious?!?!

ironslut: not this time, thamk god

ironslut: but cant show up to school with purple on my face :PP

boremachine: jesus tones, do you need to come over to my place??

ironslut: nah im good for now, its not that serious. i just need yall to come over wuth some concealer and skittles

redhotchilipepper: i got the concealer

boremachine: i got the skittles

\---------------------

bad bitches

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

snakeboiii: thor ur friends with tony right

thunderthighs: yeah, why????

badbicth: hes trying to gather every piece of info on tony stark that he hasnt gotten from wikipedia and stalking him

snakeboiii: dont expose me cunt

snakeboiii: but ur not wrong

thunderthighs: i-

thunderthighs: what do you wanna know?

\-------------------

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

partyintheusa: tony i saw ur face today, are you ok????

ironslut: seriously bruce >:(

greenbean: i didnt say anything!

thunderthighs: what happened

ironslut: it was over a stupid reason, you guys know how howard is

partyintheusa: what was it tony...

ironslut: ugh fine, rich boy problems right

thunderthighs: ...

ironslut: so yall like know that english test we took that everyone said was really hard.

greenbean: dont tell me howard got mad over that

ironslut: well i got a 93 on it because i was hungover and wasnt fully reading the questions

thunderthighs: thats bs

partyintheusa: howard is a fucking asshole

ironslut: w o a h

ironslut: did steve rogers really just say the f word

ironslut: the world is endi ng !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

partyintheusa: ://

greenbean: we're just worried about you

ironslut: u only gotta worry when im in the hospital

ironslut: gang gang

thunderthighs: dont joke about that tony, it could really happen

ironslut: guy really

ironslut: im good, howard is gonna be gone all week so ill be good :SS

partyintheusa: promise youll call one of us if something very bad happenes

ironslut: i promise

\-----------------------

we must protect our tiny stark

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor (thunderthighs)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

James Rhodes (boremachine)

monday, 9:59 am

boremachine: everyone keep an eye on tones, he's been very quiet


	3. fight me

gucci shades

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Stephen Strange (goldenhour)

monday, 2:29 pm

snakeboiii: rich bois assemble

goldenhour: what did you do

snakeboiii: i may or may not have pranked fury

ironslut: and what does that have to do with us...

ironslut: oh fuck no

goldenhour: LAUFEYSON WHAT DID YOU DO

snakeboiii: I DIDNT THINK WE'D GET CUAGHT

ironslut: THERE IS NO WE IN THIS PRANK LOKI

ironslut: oh shiT COULSON JUST PICJED ME UP, MY ASS IS GONNA GET BEAT

snakeboiii: rich bois

snakeboiii: more like dead in a ditch bois

goldenhour: stfu

\--------------------

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

monday, 2:37 pm

antbully: yo

antbully: i just saw coulson drag tony stark out of our class

robobitch: loki, strange, and him mustve done somthin

merida: wdym?

natashiii: fury is screaming at loki in the hallway, it must be bad

natashiii: his forehead vein is poppin

ibelieveicanfly: strange and stark look pissed, hill met up with coulson and theyre walking towards the office

robobitch: wait

robobitch: how does everyone see this

natashiii: i was with wanda in the bathroom whenwe heard fury yelling

antbully: im in starks class

merida: i have no idea whats going on, im just chilling on the roof

robobitch: why tf u on the roof????

merida: idek fam, i jus got up here somehow

ibelieveicanfly: smh, someone figure out what they did, i need to know the tea

natashiii: on it

\--------------------------

*hogwarts has entered the chat*

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Stephen Strange (goldenhour)

monday, 4:38 pm

goldenhour: im going to fucking kill you

snakeboiii: im a bad bitch you cant kill me 

\----------------------

defenestration hours

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

monday, 5:02 pm

ironslut: i swear the next time you drag me into one of ur pranks, i will bring stark legal into this >:(((((

snakeboiii: i know you enjoyed being taken outta ms moringys class

ironslut: fuck you know me too well

ironslut: see u in detention skinny penis

snakeboiii: see ya peach fuzz


	4. and i oop-

bad bitches

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

tuesday, 10:03 am

badbicth: JIDNEINWWMS WHY ARE THE TARANTULAS ALL OVER THE HOUSE

badbicth: LOKI YOU BITCH

snakeboiii: ok first off, why u at home when u supposed to be in school

thunderthighs: tarantulas what-

snakeboiii: and second, theyre supposed to be all in thors room, whyd you open his door

thunderthighs: in mY ROOM WhAt

badbicth: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

badbicth: THEYRE CRAWLING ALL OVER THE DXFUCKMUNG IJCCOUNTER

snakeboiii: just put boxes over them and ill put thwm back into their tanks

badbicth: YOU BETTER BITCH

\---------------------------------- 

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

tuesday, 3:29

ironslut: thor

ironslut: i want ur brother to fuck me till i cant walk straight

greenbean: woah tmi

partyintheusa: tONY WTF

thunderthighs: i have no response to that

ironslut: he radiates dom energy, he would probably to the ceiling fan test wiwth no hesitation

greenbean: the ceiling fan test i-

partyintheusa: tony pls pls pls dont text us saying you want loki to have sex with you

ironslut: hehe no promises

\------------------------------------

sTaRk nAkeD

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Eddie Brock (venomoushoe)

Stephen Strange (goldenhour)

Wade Wilson (mercwithamouth)

tuesday, 4:08

ironslut: eddie, why tf were u coverd in black slime

venomoushoe: i tried to make oobleck

goldenhour: what in the ever living hell did you use to make oobleck look like _t h a t_

mercwithamouth: i think it was pretty snazzy

mercwithamouth: i get to chill outside with peter

ironslut: ur gonna ruin that kid i swear wade

venomoushoe: id jujst like to say that peter also helped me make the oobleck so-

goldenhour: i swear that thing is gnna turn into monsters blood

ironslut: isnt that a goosebumps book?????

goldenhour: i have no shame in still reading them

mercwithamouth: r e s p e c t

\-----------------------------

zoom

Clint Barton (merida)

Pietro Maximoff (flashcantbeatme)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

wednesday, 2:48 am

flashcantbeatme: kill me

fairlyoddwand: yes pls

flashcantbeatme: pls shoot me with one of ur arrows

merida: imagine workin at ihop


	5. hmmmmmM

good kush

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Eddie Brock (venomoushoe)

thursday, 3:29 am

ironslut: brock, how much of that oobleck can you give me for 25 bucks

venomoushoe: idk a gallon????

ironslut: i jus transferred 300 to ur bank acc, make mes that monster blood boiiiiiiiiiii

ironslut: i need it by this afternoon

venomoushoe: ohmygod

\--------------------------------

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

thursday, 1:04 pm

ibelieveicanfly: have yall seen the new kid????

natashiii: you mean peter parker??? yeah hes like a cinnamon roll, i just wanna cuddle him with love and affection and protecc him

merida: parker is lit, he let me copy his notes in class

robobitch: yeah i saw him and stark talking in the hallway, that hoe

antbully: why do u have such a weirdhatred for tony starkk??

robobitch: idek, probably bc he and steve dated for a while and i dont want him to steal my manssss

natashiii: smhing m y head

\---------------------------------------

ruh roh

thursday, 3:38 pm

robobitch: THAT PARKER KID IS A LEGEND

robobitch: I FUXCKINNG STAN

robobitch: IDNINOWNOonuefowe0NUB9S 

merida: lol what did the kid do ????

robobitch: parker had two monsters and he opened one to drink in ms moringys class

ibelieveicanfly: oh shit, ms moringy will literally b e a t someones ass over that

antbully: wait that was peter i-

antbully: a living legends

natashiii: stfu whores, i wanna hear the story

robobitch: so obviously ms moringy yelled at hi m to throw them away

robobitch: BUT THE KID FUCKING OPENS THE OTHER ONE

robobitch: AND STARTS CHUGGING THEM

robobitch: WHILE HOLDING EYE CONTACT WITH HER

merida: HAHAHAHAUDHIWHSISHAH

natashiii: he did not omf

antbully: yall check snap lmao loki posted it

robobitch: hes in the office rn but fury looked amuse so hes probably not gonna get in trouble lol

natashiii: we need to bring him to the dark side 

\------------------------------

ironfam

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Peter Parker (beterborker)

thursday, 5:29 pm

ironslut: MAJDNAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

ironslut: I JUST SAW THE VIDEO OF U CHUGGING THOSE MONSTERS ON SNAP

ironslut: MORINGY WAS TOO SHOOKITH TO GO SICKO MODE ON YOU AJJJJJDSJKD

beterborker: idek what i was thinking when i did that

beterborker: that was the stupidest thing ive ever done

ironslut: thor was cheering u on in the background lmaooooo

beterborker: at least i only got sent home for the day


	6. eat mor ass

bad bitches

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

friday, 1:00 am

thunderthighs: ummmmmmm

thunderthighs: may i ask why the fuck theres a huge fucking snake in my room

snakeboiii: oh shit u jared

badbicth: what type of twink ass name is jared

snakeboiii: suck me bitch

snakeboiii: dont come @ my snake i wont come @ ur dog >:////

badbicth: you come anywhere near my fenrir and you wont have a dick to fuck tony stark with

snakeboiii: try me i can be a POWER BOTTOM

thunderthighs: LOKI JUST GET THE SNAKE OUTTA MY ROOM

thunderthighs: BRUCE IS COMING OVER SO STOP ARGUING

snakeboiii: dont you dare be loud

badbicth: use protections

thunderthighs: we jus wanna watch megamind :((

\------------------------------------------------------

church gurlz

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Peggy Carter (takeyoudownapeg)

Natasha (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

friday, 6:38 am

redhotchilipepper: GUYS THE PARTY IS TOMORROW

takeitdownapeg: oh shit is the plan all laid out?

redhotchilipepper: yep got plan a, b, and c

natashiii: its probably gonna be plan c that we go with tbh

natashiii: she keeps giving us suspiciious glances

ironslut: *suspicious

natashiii: stfu stark im tired

greenisnturcolor: this is gonna end badly isnt it

fairlyoddwand: yep

\--------------------------------------------

bad bitches

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

friday, 7:29

snakeboiii: im pretty sure texas could hear how loud yall were

badbicth: fr fr [skull.emoji]

thunderthighs: we got a bit carried away

snakeboiii: c a r r i e d a w a y he says

badbicth: yall were screaming like it was the end of the world [puke.emoji]

thunderthighs: [upsidedownsmile.emoji] [shrug.emoji]

\--------------------------------------------

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

friday, 7:49 pm

greenbean: dear god athletics is gonna be a nightmare

ironslut: maybe if you didnt let thor pound you like theres no tomorrow the morning before the pacer u wouldnt havae this problem

partyintheusa: HUFNECN WHAT TONY NO

ironslut: i only spill the truth

greenbean: :////

greenbean: stop saying spill like its tea, apparently everyone already knows i cant sit down

partyintheusa: HABDEID TMI WHY

ironslut: poor innocent virgin steeb


	7. explosives blease

church gurlz

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Peggy Carter (takeyoudownapeg)

Natasha (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

saturday, 8:00 am

fairlyoddwand: rise and shine motherfuckers

ironslut: @ natasha

natashiii: i will slit ur throat stark try me

greenisnturcolor: i-

greenisnturcolor: no fighting we need to start setting stuff up

redhotchilipepper: plan a is action everyone

redhotchilipepper: go go go

\------------------------------------

bad bitches

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

saturday, 9:00 am

_*snakeboiii added boozegirl69*_

snakeboiii: time to go to the mfing mall assholessssssss

boozegirl69: i cant believe i agreed to come with you guys [rolleyes.emoji]

badbicth: its cuz we rich and we'll buy u whatever u want

boozegirl69: u right u right

thunderthighs: valk we're waitinf for u outside

boozegirl69: coming out

snakeboiii: i thought u already out

boozegirl69: stfu

\---------------------------------------

defenestration hours

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

saturday, 9:31 am

snakeboiii: we're out

\---------------------------------------

church gurlz

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Peggy Carter (takeyoudownapeg)

Natasha (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

saturday, 9:32 am

ironslut: they out plan a scene one

redhotchilipepper: tones u got the supplies

ironslut: yeopppo, im omw rn

redhotchilipepper: peggy do u know who's coming

takeitdownapeg: yes, im making a dif chat rn

natashiii: im going to pick up gamora and wanda rn and then we'll head over to her house

ironslut: LETS GO CHURCH GURLZ

redhotchilipepper: church gurlz...

natashiii: churchy gurlz

greenisnturcolor: we got a few hourus lets get this party started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\-------------------------------

*unnamed groupchat*

Peggy Carter (takeitdownapeg)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboii)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

saturday, 09:46

_*takeitdownapeg added redhotchilipepper, ironslut, snakeboiii, natashiii, _fairlyoddwand,_ _greenisnturcolor_ , thunderthighs, badbicth, and greenbean*_

takeitdownapeg: ok people is this everyone who's coming over??????

thunderthighs: that blonde girl, danvers i think??

greenbean: oh carol

takeitdownapeg: oh shit

_*takeitdownapeg added captainmarvel*_

Carol Danvers (captainmarvel)

greenisnturcolor: i know shes the captain to basically every sports team but whyd she gotta pick that name smh

captainmarvel: ????

captainmarvel: is this for valkyries bday

ironslut: yepp

redhotchilipepper: jesus christ tony

redhotchilipepper: why tf do you have fireworks

ironslut: dont @ me peps

snakeboiii: explosives??? may i blease have one ??

thunderthighs: nO

greenbean: NO

badbicth: loki nO

snakeboiii: LOKI YESSSSSSSS

snakeboiii: tony give me fireworks when we get there

thunderthighs: stop texting loki shes giving us suspicious glares

snakeboiii: fuck fine

redhotchilipepper: tony put the fireworks somewhere safe 

greenisnturcolor: ok im ordering pizza and mcds

greenisnturcolor: what do yall want

natashiii: pepperoni and a shit ton of fries

_natashiii named the chat "bdsm bash"_

ironslut: that name honestly scares me

fairlyoddwand: i want hashbrowns

ironslut: just order everything, i gave u my card

greenisnturcolor: thx fam

redhotchilipepper: wanda, tony, carol, go start decorating

natashiii: GET THAT GLITTER AWAY FROM ME

natashiii: I WILL CRUSH U WITH MY THIGHS, THAT LADY WHO CAN CRUSH WATERMELONS WITH THEM WILL BE SHOOK

ironslut: oh shit

takeitdownapeg: TONY NO

\------------------------------------

saturday, 11:38 am

redhotchilipepper: today a hero has fallen

captainmarvel: long live anthony stark

ironslut: hel p n atashaa is chioking mee a hc

takeitdownapeg: natasha choke tony AFTER we did decorations, we need those balloons up asap

natashiii: fine

natashiii: but only cuz im slight gay for peggy

takeitdownapeg: why thank you

ironslut: ur evil

ironslut: WHAT THE FUCK

ironslut: WHERE DID THAT KNIFE COME FROM

\-----------------------------------------

bdsm bash

Peggy Carter (takeitdownapeg)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboii)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

Carol Danvers (captainmarvel)

saturday, 4:39 pm

snakeboiii: we coming back

snakeboiii: what plan we on

fairlyoddwand: plan b

fairlyoddwand: natasha strangled tony with her thighs when he was holding the flammable glitter and it went e v e r y w h e r e

natashiii: and out of no where gamora pulled out a match and the glitter caught on fire

greenbean: theres flammable glitter wtaf

ironslut: so we may of burnt half of valkyries back yard, theres still some flames

thunderthighs: FLAMES WHAT

greenbean: tONY PUT THEM OUT

takeitdownapeg: dw i just put it out, stupid men

ironslut: we rlly are stupid

badbicth: we lmost there

thunderthighs: HELA DONT TEXT AND DRIVE

badbicth: YOU CANT STOP ME CUNT

snakeboiii: oh no

ironslut: ohhh sibling fights

greenbean: thor just threw helas phone out the window i-

snakeboiii: this car ride is so chaotic i stan

greenbean: ohhhhh

greenbean: there goes thors future babies

ironslut: *pats* im sorry bruce

greenbean: *sniffles* its ok tones

snakeboiii: and i oop-

snakeboiii: there went thors phone too

greenbean: we pulling up, better be in ur places

_greenbean added boozegirl69_

\----------------------------

saturday, 4:59

redhotchilipepper: WHO SET OFF THE DAMN FIREWORKS


	8. boom boom clap

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

merida: natty come have a slepover wit meh

natashiii: i cant im too busy murding tony stark

robobitch: ew what did that manwhore do

ibelieveicanfly: bucky ur a man whore too :///

merida: keep attacking him and one day hes gonna blast pumped up kicks while using one of the guns he designed

antbully: ohmygod

antbully: im listening to pumped up kicks on repeat

natashiii: stark just set off fireworks during valkyries surprise party

natashiii: pepper and peggy are now beating him with a spatula 

merida: i-

antbully: aLl tHe oThEr kIdS WiTh tHiEr pUmPeD uP KicKs-

robobitch: @ james charles

ibelieveicanfly: oh yeah his new video lol, pumped up kicks, more like pumped up hicks

merida: i hope everyone realizes that tati just felt attacced bc james did a commercial for some gummies

robobitch: tati can suck it, im not james charles either but tati is annoying

natashiii: can we get an F to jeffree star who only backed out bc james showed his receipts and he was too shook

merida; f

robobitch: phatest f

\--------------------------

bdsm bash

Peggy Carter (takeitdownapeg)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboii)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

Carol Danvers (captainmarvel)

Valkyrie (boozegirl69)

saturday, 8:49 pm

boozegirl69: stark i would actually beata ur ass but u brought a shit ton of alcohol so u get a pass

ironslut: thanfs god

greenbean: i see tony drunk dancing on the stool im actually scared for his health

redhotchilipepper: bruce stop him!!

captainmarvel: i got him!

ironslut: thANKA THOT

captainmarvel: bruce give ur needy bf ur phone, he keeps snatching mine!!!

greenbean: sorry

boozegirl69: lmao thor more liike THOT

snakeboiii: how many ppl are drunk rn

ironslut: mef

boozegirl69: im like half percent drdunk

greenisnturcolor: half percent i-

greenisnturcolor: ugh i gtg, my dad is being a bitch again

fairlyoddwand: awwWWWw oki

natashiii: see u mondaya

greenisnturcolor: buyeee

greenbean: uhhhh loki

greenbean: hela somehow shoved herself into the dryer and shes either asleep or dead

snakeboiii: hopefully ded

ironslut: poke her witha spoon

ironslut: she wouldnt hurt brucey bear bc hes adorable and we all love him more than thor does

ironslut: I LOVE BURCE MORE THAN YOU DO

ironslut: STOP STEALING PHONES OMF

greenbean: he spelled my name wrong....

snakeboiii: hahahahhahahahahehhehajdnnclxsje

redhotchilipepper: jesus yall are crazy

boozegirl69: i accidentally set the toilet on fiere

takeitdownapeg: VALKYRIE PUT IT OUT

boozegirl69: IM TRYING MF

redhotchilipepper: god damn the smoke alarm went off

ironslut: ahhhhh my earsssss

ironslut: its like when some boy going thriough puberty tries to sing in choir class

redhotchilipepper: i remember that-

ironslut: PEPSI NOOO

takeitdownapeg: i put the fire out damn

\----------------------

11:47 pm

boozegirl69: hahehahdnaj tony just tried to flush his phone down the toiklet fhsmxs

badbicth: i stan

badbicth: why tf am i in a dryer

redhotchilipepper: oh god im so tired, im heading out

redhotchilipepper: whos drunk or sober and needs a ride

badbicth: im gonna be driving thor loki and bruce back home

boozegirl69: peppppyyyy drive me ehomee

redhotchilipepper: you are home...

boozegirl69: i amm o shet

captainmarvel: i currently carrying peggy down the stare and im afraid

captainmarvel: you should take peggy home, shes completely knocked out

redhotchilipepper: ig ill be taking tony and peggy home, and natasha

redhotchilipepper: oml shes still taking shots

redhotchilipepper: ok we're leaving

natashiii: pepperrrr noooooo

snakeboiii: i suggest yall cover ur ears

captainmarvel: why...???

badbicth: it sounded like osmeone just bombed the fucking schoool loki wtf

snakeboiii: and i oop-

\-------------------

bdsm bash

Peggy Carter (takeitdownapeg)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboii)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

Carol Danvers (captainmarvel)

Valkyrie (boozegirl69)

sunday, 12:39 pm

boozegirl69: why are there scorch marks on my roof

boozegirl69: and on my toilet

boozegirl69: and starks phone is still in my toilet

boozegirl69: ....


	9. i cant sweem

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

sunday, 1:34 pm

natashiii: remind me to never let stark or loki near fireworks ever again

merida: i saw bruces snap, did stark really try to flush his phone

natashiii: sadly yes

robobitch: carol told me she saw hela passed out in the dryer lmao

natashiii: it was a weird night and a horrible hangover fml

\----------------------

bdsm bash

Peggy Carter (takeitdownapeg)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboii)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Wanda Maximoff (fairlyoddwand)

Gamora (greenisnturcolor)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Hela Odinson (badbicth)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

Carol Danvers (captainmarvel)

Valkyrie (boozegirl69)

sunday, 2:31 pm

ironslut: guess who got a new phone and a terrible hangoverrrrrr

ironslut: this bicthhhhh

greenbean: i keep hearing high pitched ringing

snakeboiii: oh thats probabkly from the firework fail

greenbean: yeah i guessed that

greenbean: how tf did hela get her phone back even tho thor threw it out

snakeboiii: she made me go back and get it but only cuz she promised to make me a shit ton of dino nuggets

ironslut: damn now im craving dino nuggets

boozegirl69: yall are weak with ur hangovers

ironslut: im sorry im not 98% alcohol

boozegirl69: gasp

redhotchilipepper: bruce is thor ok???

greenbean: wdym??????

takeitdownapeg: you havent seen the video

greenbean: what vid??

redhotchilipepper: [thorjumping.MOV]

greenbean: i have no response to that

snakeboiii: damn idek thor jumped off the roof

snakeboiii: hes out to go buy another phone rn so we can bully him later >:)))

ironslut: evil

ironslut: i love it

snakeboiii: ;)))

\-----------------------------

sunday, 3:08 pm

fairlyoddwand: can someone pls explain to me why im in valkyries bathtub thats half full and have winnie the pooh drawn on my stomach????

boozegirl69: ur in my fucking bathroom holy shit

fairlyoddwand: yeah, i wanna know how tho

redhotchilipepper: [washingmeandmyclothes.MOV]

ironslut: JSHAJAJAJJAJAHHAHAH

thunderthighs: i-

fairlyoddwand: uM

fairlyoddwand: im not sure how i feel about that [teethclench.emoji]

boozegirl69: iM wAsHiNg mE aNd mY cLoThEs bItCh

ironslut: iM wAsHiNg mE aNd mY cLotHEs

fairlyoddwand: i cant sweem


	10. area 51

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

monday, 6:28 am

ironslut: WHOS READY TO MCDUCKING RAID AREA 51 WITH ME

ironslut: SAVE THE MFING DATE PEOPLE

partyintheusa: im sorry tony but theres no aliens there

partyintheusa: i ate them all

ironslut: i-

greenbean: whats with the area 51 shit going around

thunderthighs: fr fr

thunderthighs: like theres so many snap and insta stories saying "me and the boy are gonna raid area 51, come join us"

ironslut: im gonna pretend steve didnt eat all the aliens

ironslut: but fr

ironslut: imma fly out on september 19th and raid it the next day, who wants to come

partyintheusa: you better not

greenbean: oml im in

thunderthighs: i want a pet alien doggo

partyintheusa: yall gonna get shot

\---------------------------

best threesome ever

Tony Stark (ironslut)

James Rhodeys (boremachine)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

monday: 9:03 am

redhotchilipepper: anthony edward stark

boremachine: ooooooooooooo she said ur who nameeeee

ironslut: stfu

redhotchilipepper: you better not be going to raid area 51

boremachine: wait u going too?

boremachine: can i come

ironslut: ofc

redhotchilipepper: ...

ironslut: u cant stop us we the alien huntersssss

redhotchilipepper:

\-------------------------

gucci shades

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Stephen Strange (goldenhour)

12:30 pm

ironslut: do wants to help fund the area 51 raid with me

snakeboiii: will there be injuries involved

ironslut: probably

snakeboiii: then yes

goldenhour: i wanna go just to see some aliens

ironslut: yessss i already have 15 people ready to fly out with us

ironslut: [raidarea51.facebook]

\------------------------------

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

monday, 3:11 pm

antbully: who was inside to hear the area 51 speech

robobitch: ohmygod

merida: fury mustve popped a blood vessel

merida: he was t r i g g e r e d

antbully: my for you page is coveredin area 51 memes and im scared

antbully: like i dont think ive ever seen karen this popular

robobitch: sjnsnhshahahha

merida: bitch immma rock thrower

natashiii: i am the ultimate karen square up

ibelieveicanfly: tchalla gonna be the furrylmaoo

antbully: SIAJ9JD9WJSOS

antbully: if anyone is going pls pick up an alien for me pot favor

ibelieveicanfly: p o t f av o r

natashiii: lol


	11. bruh

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

wednesday, 9:28 am

robobitch: anyone up for a movie night???

antbully: i would but mr murkle assigned us a group project and i got paired up with quill and lehnsherr

merida: #rip but im up for it

merida: i feel bad, quill and erik hate each other, whats the projedct about

antbully: we gotta see if a parrot or a rat is smarter

natashiii: thats so fucking random lmao

ibelieveicanfly: ok first

ibelieveicanfly: where tf u gonna get a parrot

merida: such a bruh moment

robobitch: hmm idk...

robobitch: like cmon, murkle once made a kid test out whether rabbit or goat shit was a better fertilizer

natashiii: it was goat

merida: i-

merida: imma pretend u dont kno that

merida: know

ibelieveicanfly: lmao

merida: die bitch

ibelieveicanfly: i m a b a d b i t c h

natashiii: y o u c a n t k i l l m e 

robobitch: smh

robobitch: so who can watch the movie tonight

merida: i can pick up natasha and we'll get mcds and pixie stixs

ibelieveicanfly: i have to get home by 11, my mom and dad ae outta town and my brother cant be home alone too long

robobitch: great

robobitch: see you guys later

\-------------------------

thor more like t h O t

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

wednesday, 2:02 pm

snakeboiii: thor what is tonys least favorite food

snakeboiii: i need it R I G H T now

thunderthighs: tf u want with tonys least faorite food

snakeboiii: *favorite

thunderthighs: shush

thunderthighs: why loki :/

snakeboiii: just a tiny prank, i pinky promise

thunderthighs: mhmmm

thunderthighs: fine whatever, ur jus gonna find out anyways

snakeboiii: thx bro

thunderthighs: he hates pea, jello, and shrimp

snakeboiii: yessssssss thxxxxxxxxx

\------------------------------

good kush

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Eddie Brock (venomoushoe)

wednesday, 3:31 pm

venomoushoe: i got ur oobleck

ironslut: yess thx 

venomoushoe: i always gotchu fam 

ironslut: youve done a great service for this country, have an amazing day s i r

venomoushoe: it gives me tingles when you call me sir stark

ironslut: ohmygod n O

\-------------------------------

ironfam

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Peter Parker (beterborker)

wednesday, 3:59 pm

ironslut: b e t e r, i need u for a special top secret mission that will most likey get us into trouble but not bc im a genius

beterborker: that was oddly specific tony...

beterborker: last time i did a "top secret mission" wit h you was when we hacked into the security cameras at school and just had a loop of pennywise walking around

ironslut: but we didnt get caught :D

beterborker: ugh im so gonna regret this

ironslut: probably

beterborker: ph great ur being honest, the world must be ending

ironslut: i feel offended but ill put it aside so we can worak

beterborker: fine.

ironslut: so u know how loki got strange and i in trouble bc loki had a rainbow glitter bomb explode in his office 

beterborker: yeah i noticed, my backpack has glitter on it now :/

ironslut: oop

beterborker: smh

beterborker: so whats the plan

\-------------------------------

defenestration hours

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

thursday, 10:29 am

snakeboiii: STARJK WHAT THE FUCK


	12. flash flood more like flash slime

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

thursday, 2:39 pm

partyintheusa: tony

ironslut: steve

partyintheusa: tony.

ironslut: steevvveee

partyintheusa: anthony edward stark

greenbean: ooooO he pulled out the f u l l n a m e

thunderthighs: oOoooOOoooo

ironslut: shut it cunts

partyintheusa: tony

partyintheusa: any chance you wanna tell me why the 2nd floor math hall is flooded with black slime

ironslut: black slime, ive never heARD of her, is she new?

greenbean: WHGAT

greenbean: BITCH THAT WAS U ??!!

thunderthighs: oh shot, loki is gonna kill yu

ironslut: he cant catch me in the ginger bread man

ironslut: b u t

ironslut: karma, he got strange anad i in trouble so-

partyintheusa: smfh im disappointed tony

ironslut: get in line steeby boi

greenbean: fury is pissed

greenbean: like very pissed

thunderthighs: coulson and hill are doing a hall sweep tho and locker check

ironslut: oh shit i gotta warn brock, gt g

partyintheusa: why am i even surprised anymore

\---------------------------------

defenestration hours

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

thursday, 3:09 pm

snakeboiii: ikm going to fucking kill you stark

snakeboiii: your guards wont even see me coming

ironslut: you should never annouce ur plan to the enemy, bc now i can warn the guards [smile.emoji]

ironslut: *announce

snakeboiii: we'll see stark, watch ur back [clown.emoji]

ironslut: tbh that emoji scares me more thqn ur threat

\---------------------------------------------------------

ironfam

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Peter Parker (beterborker)

thursday, 4:00

ironslut: petey

beterborker: ye

ironlut: you wanna come watch mean girls with steve thor bruce and stephen

ironslut: at my place of course, i need protection

beterborker: oof loki threatened u didnt he

ironslut: [defenestration hours.screenshots]

beterborker: i would be very scared

beterborker: who eve n uses that emoji

ironslut: psychopaths 

beterborker: i gotchu fam, unless he has a knife then i dont gotchu

ironslut: that means so much to m e [sniffle.emoji]

\----------------------------------------------

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

thursday, 6:43 pm

partyintheusa: tonyyyyyyyyy

ironslut: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

greenbean: thats an unnecessary amount of a's

ironslut: dont @ me brucey bear, pls continue steeve

partyintheusa: do u mind if i bring bucky

ironslut: ...

ironslut: bucky barnes...

greenbean: jeez what happened between you and barnes

ironslut: whatever steve, but if he tries to kill me i will aggressively poke him with a knife

thunderthighs: i-

partyintheusa: thanks tony, ill make sure that doesnt happen

thunderthighs: honest;y thats one of the most intimidating things ive ever heard tony say

ironslut: bitch im intimidating

ironslut: grrrrrr

greenbean: yes

greenbean: v e r y intimidating

\-------------------------------------

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

thursday, 6:47 pm

robobitch: YALL IM GAY PANICKING

natashiii: oh no smh

merida: oh shot what happened

merida: fucking autocorredct

merida: w o w

natashiii: shut up clinton

natashiii: what happened james

robobitch: STEVE INVITINED ME OVER TO WTACH A MOVIE WITH HIM AND HIS FRIENDSZ

ibelieveicanfly: [clap.emoji]

antbully: by friends do u mean stark and odison and banner

antbully: *odinson

robobitch: aw fuck shit

natashiii: lol

merida: stark isnt that bad, hes got a mouth on him but hes not that much of an asshole 

merida: well only if you know him

robobitch: and its at starks place fucking sjjfdiwjdxmekf

robobitch: like i dont wanna fucking see him flaunt his wealth at me, its bad enough i couldjt afford the stark arm

natashiii: i doubt stark will harass you on ur arm, hes an asshole but not that much, he knows when to keep his mouth shut

natashiii: but if he says anything, text me and ill strangle him

robobitch: thx natty

antbully: ive been to starks house before bc of a project, he has is OWN movie theater like wtf, not f a i r

robobitch: im prepared to either stab starj or jump outta his window and hoope i break something valuable in hisbackyard

ibelieveicanfly: ill also beat stark, but with annoyance, ill throw pingpong balls at him whenever i see him

robobitch: lmao thanks sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not being able to update, i just got back from the beach


	13. dino nuggies

ruh roh

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

friday, 4:03 am

robobitch: i just got up to get a glass of water and saw banner and stark making a shit ton of chicken nuggets

robobitch: and i mean a l o t

merida: ooo didd you get to eat some

robobitch: ofc they were dino nuggies

antbully: holy shit i want dino nuggies

_*natashiii named the chat "dino nuggies"*_

merida: hell ya nat

ibelieveicanfly: jesus, its 4 am get some mfing sleep

robobitch: i think the only thing stark an i agree on is dino nuggies

antbully: DAMN NOW I WANT DINO NUGGIES

ibelieveicanfly: damn thats aggressive

antbully: fucking caps widjijxoas

natashiii: lol

natashiii: but sam is right, go to sleep we have a pop quiz in history tmrw 

robobitch: shit we do

antbully: oh fck yeah, gn ig

natashiii: lmao night

\---------------------------

chicken nuggies

Clint Barton (merida)

Natasha Romanoff (natashiii)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

Sam Wilson (ibelieveicanfly)

Scott Lang (antbully)

friday, 7:30 am

merida: i just saw thors snap, starjk and banner stayed up the entire fing night and made hundreds of nuggets

merida: that is literally my wet dream holy shit

robobitch: ew clint stOP

natashiii: bucky tell them to bring me some for lunch

robobitch: ugh fine but only cuz ur my favorite

robobitch: *whispers* dont tell clint

merida: IM RIGHT HERE ASSHOLE

ibelieveicanfly: JDIJDISJSHAHAHHAHA

robobitch: :$$

merida: daddy come backkkkk

natashiii: hes my daddy now clint fuck off!

antbully: IM FUCKING WHEEZING OMF STOOPP

merida: this is why people jump off buildings

ibelieveicanfly: tell me when that happens so i can post on my story

merida: yall are the worst friends :(((

merida: goodbye f o r e v e r

_*merida has left the chat_ _*_

robobitch: how long should we let him be gone before he has to ask before beung added back

natashiii: however long it takes ]smilingdevil.emoji]

antbully: ohmygod smhh

\-----------------------------

avengers assemble

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Thor Odinson (thunderthighs)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

Bruce Banner (greenbean)

friday, 8:21 am

partyintheusa: i cant believe yall made over 7 3 8 chicken nuggets

partyintheusa: you better not throw them out

ironslut: how do you even know the exact numb-

greenbean: did you fucking count the nuggets

partyintheusa: thats off topic

ironslut: ohmygod he did!

ironslut: HAHAHAHAHHIJIMIWZMWIDIJD

partyintheusa: shut up >:(

greenbean: dw steve, im giving oout nuggets to people aand selling them on ebay

greenbean: someone already bought some for $200 bc tony licked on of them

ironslut: *gasp* you're getting money off of m E

ironslut: i demand part of the profit!!!!

greenbean: n o .

ironslut: :((

thunderthighs: i just stepped of a trex nugget wha-

partyintheusa: at least thor is responsible and so is stephen 

ironslut: first, stephen left around 12 so he didnt evem get to see our wonderful creations 

greenbean: yeah, dont @ us

greenbean: i remember when you made 100 hot pockets bc the geese were hungry

partyintheusa: i was drunk!

ironslut: so

ironslut: that means nothing to us steven

partyintheusa: whatever 

\--------------------------

defenestration hours

Loki Laufeyson (snakeboiii)

Tony Stark (ironslut)

friday, 12:27 pm

ironslut: am i at least partially forgiven 

snakeboiii: like 2%, dino nuggies arent my favorite

ironslut: bs, i remember you saying they were one time

snakeboiii: times change stark, keep up

ironslut: what if i made you 1000 pizza rolls

snakeboiii: i doubt youll do that

snakeboiii: but i need 2583

ironslut: w h y

ironslut: thatll be so much harder to keep track of

snakeboiii: [shrug.emoji]

ironslut: fuck it, ill make 2583 pizza rolls for you

snakeboiii: thanks honey [blowkiss.emoji] 


	14. hurricane katrina more like hurricane raccoona

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god I'm so sorry for this late update, so much happened, my boyfriend and I broke up, schools about to start, and I went to a funeral today and have to go to another one tomorrow and Monday. I'm sorry everyone, I was trying to keep up a good updating schedule.

best threesome ever

Tony Stark (ironslut)

James Rhodeys (boremachine)

Pepper Potts (redhotchilipepper)

saturday, 9:49 pm

boremachine: TONY CODE BLUE

redhotchilipepper: wtf is a code blue

ironslut: RHODEY DID SOMETHING STUPID

ironslut: HONEY BEAR WHA DID U DO

boremachine: I BOUGHT SEVEN FUCKING RACCOONS FROM SOME RANDOM GUY ON THE STREET

redhotchilipepper: yOU DID WHAT

ironslut: RHODEY

ironslut: WHY

ironslut: WOULD

redhotchilipepper: if you get fucking rabies i swear jim

ironslut: YOU

ironslut: DO

ironslut: THAT

boremachine: I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEEA AT HTE TIME

boremachine: DONT @ ME

ironslut: @ JAMES RHODES

redhotchilipepper: GIVE THEM BACK NOW

boremachine: uhhh i cant

redhotchilipepper: im going to kill you

ironslut: r u h r o h

boremachine: the guy isnt at his raccoon stand anymore

ironslut: i have an idea

ironslut: we just release them, theyll survive right?

redhotchilipepper: absolutely not, they are domesticated and wont survive

boremachine: f u c k

ironslut: i have another idea

ironslut: what if we just like release them into someones house, itll be theuir problem now

boremachine: yes deal lets do it rn

ironslut: im omw

redhotchilipepper: dont you dare

ironslut: sorry pep turning my phone off rn

boremachine: same byeeee peppy

redhotchilipepper: ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, JAMES RUPERT RHODES DONT YOU DARE RELEASE THEM ANYWHERE

redhotchilipepper: im going to fucking kill them

\-----------------------------------------

crackly fingers

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

sunday, 2:10 am

partyintheusa: i need your help

robobitch: oh no

robobitch: what did you do this time [eyes.emoji]

partyintheusa: h e y

partyintheusa: why do you always assume everything is my faukt

partyintheusa: *fault

robobitch: should i bring up the crab or the snail incident

partyintheusa: ...

partyintheusa: no.. [frownface.emoji]

robobitch: thats whatt i thought, so what happened

partyintheusa: so theres currently 7 raccoons running around my house and i need your help to catch them

robobitch: theres 7 raccoons in ur house i-

partyintheusa: bucky plllllllsssssss come help, im pretty sure im allergic to them as well :(

robobitch: fine

partyintheusa: youre not gonna ask why theyre in my house

robobitch: no

robobitch: stark posted it on his snap and insta

partyintheusa: fuck

partyintheusa: m E

robobitch: can i get a raincheck on that? its a bit complicated when theres racoons

partyintheusa: i-

partyintheusa: i have no response for that

robobitch: [wink.emoji]

\-------------------------------------

Steve Rogers (partyintheusa)

Bucky Barnes (robobitch)

sunday, 9:20 am

robobitch: last night was one of the scariest nights of my life

partyintheusa: like actually

partyintheusa: who knew raccoons were so loud

robobitch: one of them managed to take off some of my hair :(((

partyintheusa: most of my shirts are chewed up

partyintheusa: like im a holy child but not that holey

robobitch: oh n o

robobitch: not jesus jokes

partyintheusa: h E h E

robobitch: smh smh

partyintheusa: i cant belieev we actually released the raccoons

robobitch: ikr

robobitch: how much u wanna bet that therell be a whole ass colony by monday

partyintheusa: oh god ur right

partyintheusa: im both scared but excited to see the outcome of this

robobitch: fury is gonna kill us but it was worth it

partyintheusa: definitely 


End file.
